Then Everything Changed
by aaliona
Summary: "Saying yes would have felt odd. When you're the only girl who can refuse a Marauder, it would turn the school upside down if you suddenly accepted. Lily said no again and again for years. Than everything changed."


**This was written as a follow-up of Her Crumpled Little Heart by watch it burn. Although you don't necessarily have to read that first for this to make sense, you should check it out.**

All alone, Lily sat on a window seat with her legs drawn up to her chest as tears started to fall. It was the first place she'd thought to go after seeing James with his new girl, although she wondered why her mind had picked someplace so… familiar. James had asked her out in this exact place on two occasions. The second time she'd almost said yes.

Almost two months ago Lily had been sitting in the window with one leg dangling down while the other was bent to cradle the book she was reading. History of magic was truly a dull subject – its book being even drier – but she'd found that it was possible to actually absorb the reading as long as she had the option of looking up to see the lake, take a breath, and keep reading. This was actually what she was doing when James sat down on the ledge beside her.

"Hello, Evans."

"Go away, James," she answered, nose still in her book. Her mind could just imagine Severus nearby, chuckling at James' rejection, just as he often did; at least, just as he used to do. After nearly a year, Lily still often forgot that Severus wasn't her friend any more.

"Why do you do that?" he sighed.

Lily glanced up, but she quickly dropped her eyes again. She didn't need him thinking she was getting soft. "Why do I do what?"

"That."

She looked up again, only this time she kept her eyes on his. "I still don't know what you mean."

James sighed and took a moment to stare out the window. "You dismiss me so easily."

Lily raised an eyebrow. "You make it hard to do otherwise."

"Is everything I do a joke to you?" he demanded, glaring at her with a look on his face Lily had never seen before. Then she realized what it was: anguish.

"I don't know," she faltered. "I guess so." Lily cleared her throat and gained her confidence back. "You don't do much to make me take you seriously."

"Asking you to Hogsmeade isn't serious enough for you?"

She rolled her eyes. "Maybe it would be if you meant it seriously," she replied.

"How do you know I don't," he countered.

Lily was starting to wonder where all of these questions were coming from, but she always had an answer ready. "If you were serious, you wouldn't bring your friends along. You wouldn't ask in public. You would make it sound like a decent offer instead of, 'Hey Evans, want to go to Hogsmeade?'"

James crossed his arms, leaning back against the window. "I didn't bring anyone along today."

"That's true," Lily admitted, "but you're still James. They're probably waiting around the corner to see if I'll say yes without a posse. Then they'll come bursting out congratulating you."

James smirked and said, "They can't come bursting out if I don't ask."

"What?" Lily was nearly speechless. James _wasn't_ asking her out?

He smirked again. "That's right. I figure if I leave a conversation without rejection once, maybe I'll get a yes the next time."

She shook her head. "James… That's not a very good plan."

As James stood up, he shrugged. "Maybe it isn't," he agreed, "but it's better than repeating what I've been doing since third year. That's getting me no where. See you around, Evans."

James had walked away, leaving Lily sitting there speechless, having completely forgotten about her history. Despite the whirring it had created in her head, Lily said no the next time he asked, just like she always did. Saying yes would have felt odd; after all, when you're the only girl who can refuse a Marauder, it would turn the school upside down if you suddenly accepted. She said no again and again for two months.

Then everything changed.

"What does Mary McDonald have that I don't?" Lily muttered to herself.

"Less willpower?"

Lily nearly jumped out of her skin as she whirled around to find out who was spying on her. "Remus?"

He smiled cautiously and nodded at the empty space on the window seat next to her. "May I?"

She nodded, watching carefully as the quietest Marauder sat down next her. "What- What did you need?"

Remus shrugged. "I noticed you seemed a little shell-shocked when Mary came in. Something on your mind?"

Lily shook her head with a sigh. "No, not really."

"I don't mean to be rude," Remus replied, "but you're obviously lying." Lily glared at him. "No one comes to a place like this with nothing to do and no one to talk to unless they need to think, wallow, or both."

"What's it to you?" she snapped. "You're just like they are. Why should you care about me?"

Remus shrugged. "I suppose it doesn't and I don't." He hid a smile as he watched her shoulder's fell. "That's the answer you want to hear, isn't it?"

"What? Oh yes, of course it is."

"Really?"

Lily's whole body slumped as she admitted, "Okay, that's not exactly what I wanted to hear."

"I didn't think so," he replied and allowed his smile to show this time.

The grin on Remus' face irked her "Well?" she demanded. "What's it to you? You say you have an answer, and I want to hear it."

"James really does care about you."

Lily responded with only a look of pure skepticism.

"I'm serious," Remus responded. He knew that if he were talking to a Marauder, the response would be, "No you're not. You're Remus," but he wasn't talking to a Marauder; he was talking to Lily Evans. It was absolutely critical that she understand what he was saying.

"James hasn't moved on," he continued. "After almost three years of doing the same thing over and over, he needed to do something else. That's madness. After all, the true definition of insanity is doing the same thing again and again, expecting a different result. James couldn't do that anymore."

Lily thought back again to her conversation with him a couple months ago. James had said nearly the same thing then.

"When James told me you'd had a serious conversation, I thought things might have changed," Remus said. "Then it didn't. I honestly think you were starting to drive him to that point of insanity. Since changing a little hadn't helped, I encouraged him to radically shake up your routine."

She glared in disbelief. "This is _your_ fault."

Remus grinned. "To the contrary, I'd say it's yours. James would not have resorted to dating Mary McDonald if you weren't constantly driving him away."

Lily pulled her arms more tightly around her legs. "So I've lost my chance," she concluded miserably.

Remus laughed.

Lily sent him her most piercing look. "I see you find my despair funny."

He shook his head. "No, I'm laughing because you think it's so final. Please, James has fancied you since third year. Do you really think he's moved on so readily?"

She didn't respond.

"Lily," he said to call her attention back. "I give them a week, two weeks tops. You'll have another chance with him. Just promise me one thing."

"What's that?"

"Say yes this time."


End file.
